


The One With the Videotape

by avengersincamphalfbloodstardis



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Friends AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 18:49:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3865783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avengersincamphalfbloodstardis/pseuds/avengersincamphalfbloodstardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After sleeping together and the team finding out, Steve and Tony both have a different story about what happened. Luckily, there's evidence of what really went down...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One With the Videotape

**Author's Note:**

> This episode of Friends was always one of my favorites; everyone thinking that there was no way Rachel would have hit on Ross was always so funny to me. So, I thought that no one would believe that "shy, old fashioned" Steve would ever hit on "fast and loose" Tony. Hope it's as funny as the episode!

It was a combination of Pepper and Natasha’s fault. Pepper’s for forcing Tony to tape what he was working on that afternoon and Natasha’s for making up the story.

***

Mostly it started when Natasha and Tony decided to talk about all the different ways they pursued the people they were interested in.

“See, I’m just charming,” Tony said, holding his arms out wide, drink spilling out of his tumbler a little bit. “I don’t need some gimmick.”

“But you strike out _sometimes_ right?” Natasha said. “You just can’t find the move that works?”

Tony shrugged. “Yeah, I guess sometimes.”

“Well, I’ve got this story that always works.”

“That’s impossible.”

Natasha shrugged. “Fine, don’t believe me. But it works.”

“Alright, Romanoff,” Tony leaned forward. “Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is and spill this story.”

“Alright,” Natasha flipped her hair and leaned forward, the air of someone about to divulge a juicy secret. “Tony, did I ever tell you about the time I went backpacking through Germany?”

Tony shook his head.

“Well, it was a couple of years ago and I had been feeling sort of lost for awhile and I just needed to get away. So I went off to Germany on a whim, just chose the first place that popped into my head. I’m all out of sorts when I get there so I just set off, no destination really planned. I make it to the mountains, start trekking through.”

A look of blissful reminiscence came over Natasha’s features. “I came across this lake. So beautiful. Still, glassy.”

Her tranquil look turned to one of concern as she looked off into the distance. “And at the edge, there was this woman. She was naked, standing in the water and bathing. But,” her voice caught slightly. “She was crying.”

Tony’s mouth was hanging open, listening to her every word.

“Wow,” he cleared his throat. “I’ve never been so attracted to you.”

“Hands off, pal,” came a muffled voice from the vents.

***

Then, came the part where Pepper got involved.

“Tony, I’m serious, I promised that we would release an instructional video of you doing this experiment for high school physics classes to use as part of their curriculum.”

“Pepper, I don’t do high school experiments. Those are for babies.”

“Tony, it’s just one experiment, it’ll take a half an hour, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Pep-”

“Tony.”

“Pep.”

“Tony.”

“ _Pep_.”

“TONY.”

“Fine, I’ll do the video.”

“Thank you.”

***

The group found out, Steve and Tony telling them with huge grins on their faces, they were a couple now.

Of course they would have found out eventually, they had two super spies, a doctor who was Tony’s best friend, and a demigod with the subtlety of a brick but who was miraculously good at picking up on vibes.

They were all sitting in the living room, gathered around the new happy couple.

“You guys slept together!” Clint exclaimed, pointing at them.

Steve’s cheeks burned. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Are you kidding?” Clint continued. “It’s a huge deal.”

He turned to Natasha. “Help me out here.”

She shrugged. “Bound to happen eventually.”

“No kidding,” Bruce muttered. “If I had to hear one more time just how great Steve was I was gonna hulk out.”

Tony gasped mockingly. “Et tu Brute?”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “You know I’m right.”

“We are all pleased,” Thor said. “But Natasha and Bruce are correct; this was a long time coming.”

“So, how did it happen?” Clint asked. “When did it happen? How many times?”

“Clint,” Natasha chastised. “That’s not right.”

She turned back to Steve and Tony with a devilish grin. “Start with where.”

Steve’s blush was in full force. “Um... Tony’s workshop.”

Bruce groaned. “Not on the couch.”

Steve winced. “...Sorry.”

“I fell _asleep_ on that the other night,” Bruce said woefully. “I’m gonna have to burn those clothes now. And that couch.”

“Not the couch,” Tony said.

“Yeah Brucey,” Clint grinned. “You can’t burn the couch. It’s a memento of their love.”

“Shut up,” Steve said, growing even redder, the tips of his ears joining in the blush.

“Alright, alright,” Natasha waved her hand. “Get to the details.”

“Okay, fine,” Steve said. “Well, I went down to the workshop and Tony asked if I was there to sketch so I let him look at my book.”

“Very sweet,” Thor said solemnly.

“Yeah,” Steve smiled. “So we’re on the couch, then Tony comes onto me-”

“Hold up,” Tony said. “ _I_ came onto _you_?”

“Oh,” Steve said. “Did I not say that right?”

He turned to Natasha, frowning. “Did you tell me another fake modern phrase? People still make fun of me for saying “cat’s pajamas...””

“No, you said it just fine.” Tony said. “Fine, but wrong.”

Steve’s brow furrowed. “What do yo mean?”

“I didn’t come on to you,” Tony said. “ _You_ came onto _me_.”

Steve laughed. “No I didn’t, Tony come on.”

Tony’s mouth dropped. “What? Yes you did!”

“Tony,” Steve said patronizingly, like he was explaining something simple to a three year old. “You kissed me first, you came on to me.”

“No way,” Tony said. “You were hitting on me, that’s why I kissed you.”

“Oh okay,” Steve grinned. “Who here thinks I made the first move?”

Tony raised his hand and looked around pointedly at the group.

When no one else raised theirs, he burst out, “Oh, come on!”

“Well, Tony,” Bruce said gently. “You are very... forward.”

“And Steve is definitely not,” Natasha said. “Watching him flirt with the few people I made him meet was just painful.”

“Hey!” Steve and Tony said together.

“It was not that bad,” Steve said.

“Steve came onto me,” Tony insisted.

“Well, I guess we’ll never know,” Clint shrugged. “Don’t have a way to prove it.”

“I do!” Tony said.

“What?” Steve said. “How?”

“I filmed it!” Tony yelled.

“There was silence.

“What do you mean, you _filmed_ it?” Steve said slowly.

“Okay,” Tony brought his hands up in a surrender position. “I know it sounds kinda bad, but-”

“ _Kinda_?” Steve said. “ _Kinda_ bad? You filmed us having sex!”

“It’s not what it sounds like!” Tony said. “It was for a school project!”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means I- Steve wait-”

Steve ran out, Tony close behind.

“Well, shit,” Clint said.

“My sentiments exactly,” Thor said solemnly.

***

The next day, the Avengers minus Steve and Tony were sitting around the living room.

“Tony said he didn’t do it on purpose,” Bruce said. “And Pepper said she did give him that school video project.”

“I guess,” Clint shrugged. “It is pretty like Tony to forget vital information when Steve walks in the room. Remember when he was giving me new arrows and he forgot to mention some of them were gas arrows when he saw Steve?”

Thor nodded. “The noxious fumes still plague me.”

Steve walked in the room and everybody’s gaze suddenly went to different areas of the room, conversation cut off.

Steve looked around. “You were talking about it again.”

“Maybe,” Clint said staring at the ceiling, probably trying to figure out the best way to get up there without anyone noticing.

Steve sighed and came to sit down on the couch.

“You still mad at Tony?” Natasha asked.

“Yes,” Steve said. “No. I don’t know.”

“Well, at least you know how you feel about it,” Clint said.

Steve shot him a dirty look. “I don’t wanna be mad, okay? But still...”

“It doesn’t feel right,” Bruce finished for him.

“Exactly,” Steve said.

Tony walked in at that moment.

“Steve,” he said. “Steve, if you would just listen-”

“What, Tony?” Steve said.

“Please, I swear it was an accident-”

“I know, I just...” Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“I-” Tony said. “Look, I’ll just go get the thing the video is on and give it to you and you can destroy it, alright?”

After a beat, Steve said, “That would be preferable.”

Tony scurried away.

“Is that gonna make everything better?” Clint asked.

“I dunno,” Steve said. “I hope so.”

Tony came back in the room, holding a small flashdrive. “Here, all you have to do is insert it in the tv and JARVIS will erase it.”

Steve nodded and took the drive, putting it in the tv. “JARVIS?”

“WAIT!” All the Avengers stood and shouted, holding their hands out in a stop position.

“What?” Steve said. “Do you- do you guys want to see this video?”

“Uh, yeah!” Clint said.

“We have to know what happened!” Natasha said.

“Ew,” Tony said.

“Not the sex stuff,” Bruce said. “Just what led up to it.”

“No way,” Steve said. “I’m sorry guys, but that’s private.”

“You heard the man,” Tony said. “Not watching it. JARVIS?”

“Hang on,” Steve said. “You don’t want them to see it?”

“Of course not,” Tony said. “Like you said; private.”

“Tony Stark, private man?” Clint grinned. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Let it go, Clint,” Tony said. “Steve doesn’t want you to watch, so you’re not.”

“I wanna watch it,” Steve said.

Tony whirled to look at him. “What?”

“I wanna watch it,” Steve said again. “You don’t wanna watch it so bad, that I’m starting to think we should see it, do you see?”

Tony blinked, mouth open like a goldfish. “No.”

“We’re gonna watch the first part,” Steve said. “And prove that you came on to me.”

“Steve, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Tony said.

“Oh really?” Steve’s lips curled into a playful smirk. “You don’t think so?”

“Steve...” Tony said mock warningly.

“Yes Tony?” Steve batted his eyelashes. “JARVIS, play the video.”

“Yes sir.”

The screen lit up and Tony’s workshop appeared.

Clint turned, grinning and said, “I’m so happy” to Natasha.

On the screen, Tony came around from the side after setting up the filming equipment to face his workstation and put together all of his equipment.

“So,” he started. “I’m Tony Stark and today we’re going to be doing an experiment. First, you’ll need a-”

He’d reached for a beaker when the door behind him opened.

He turned and saw Steve standing in the doorway holding his sketchbook.

“Hey Tony,” Steve said. “Oh man, sorry are you busy?”

“Not at all, Steve-o.” Tony said. “You here to finish your sketch of DUM-E?”

“Actually, I finished that one yesterday,” Steve smiled. “Wanna see it?”

Tony beamed. “Absolutely.”

He walked over to his couch, just a little ways behind his workstation and Steve joined him.

“Here you go,” Steve flipped to the page and and held out the book.

Tony took it like he was handling something precious, and stared down at the page.

“Wow Steve,” he said, and oh my god, was he choking up? “This is amazing?”

Steve preened under the compliment. “Thanks Tony.”

“I mean it,” Tony said. “You got him just right.”

Tony’s fingers went to the corner of the page, about to turn it, then looked up at Steve. “May I?”

Steve gestured to the page. “Please.”

Tony started to flip through the pages, spending ample time on each one, studying them the way he thought they deserved.

“Alright, in about ten seconds, you’re gonna see him kiss me,” Steve said.

“And in about five seconds you’re going to see why,” Tony countered.

On the screen, Steve took a sip and moved his gaze up to Tony, who was still flipping through the sketchbook.

“Hey Tony,” Steve said, watching him.

“Hhm?” Tony said, not looking up from the book.

“Did I ever tell you,” Steve moved his gaze to his glass, swirling the contents around. “About the time I was on a mission in Germany and I went backpacking in the mountains? I came across this lake...”

Tony slowly raised his head, trying to hold back a smile.

Clint’s jaw dropped and Natasha grinned.

On the screen, Tony turned and kissed Steve, cutting off his story.

“There you go!” Steve hit the pause button and turned to smile at the group, completely oblivious.

“Oh man,” Natasha grinned wide and shook her head. “You came on to Tony!”

Steve’s joyful expression faltered as the group all turned to him, various degrees of ecstasy on their faces. “What?”

“I’m so happy,” Tony said, staring ahead blissfully.

“What are you guys talking about?” Steve said. “You all saw him kiss me first!”

“You used the Germany story!” Clint said.

“It’s the magic story you use when you want to have sex!” Bruce cried.

Steve looked around at the group, horror dawning on his features. “How do you all know about that story?”

“How do you know about that story?” Natasha asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I heard it from Sharon, who heard it from some girl,” Steve said shrilly, a blush climbing up his neck to his cheeks.

Natasha raised a hand. “Some girl.”

Steve shook his head vehemently. “No way, she said her name was Natalie Rushman.”

Natasha pointed at herself with a grin. “Natalie Rushman.”

“Oh,” Steve’s cheeks were so red it looked painful. “Oh my god.”

“Wow stud,” Natasha said. “I was totally wrong about you. You know what you want and you _get_ it.”

Steve covered his hands with his face. “Shut up.”

“Hey now, come one,” Tony went over to Steve and pulled his hands away. “It’s okay.”

“I didn’t know everyone knew that story,” Steve said miserably.

“So you thought you could get away with telling lies about me, Rogers?” Tony teased. “You sly dog.”

Steve groaned and put his head back in his hands.

“Hey,” Tony pulled his hands away again. “I still like you.”

Steve bit his lip. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Tony grinned. “Plus, this was pretty fun for me.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Glad my pain is amusing to you, Stark.”

“This is gross,” Clint said.

“Well, you don’t have to deal with it much longer,” Tony turned and said. “Because me and my _boyfriend_ are going to bed.”

Tony pulled Steve off toward the bedroom, with the rest making retching and kissing noises after them.

***

The next day, they were in bed, Steve turning the drive over and over in his hands.

“You really didn’t watch this?” he asked.

“I really didn’t,” Tony said.

“...You wanna?”

A slow grin spread across Tony’s face. “Rogers, you dirty dirty man. Alright, plug it in.”

Steve put it in the port in Tony’s dresser (ah, technology) and the tv across Tony’s wall came on.

They skipped to the part they had left off watching yesterday and went quiet as their television counterparts started.

“Oh,” Steve said.

“Yeah,” Tony said.

They watched for awhile then Tony said, “Alright, that’s it.”

“What?” Steve turned to him, eyes wide. “You don’t like it?”

“That is _not_ it,” Tony paused it. “I cannot watch this without kissing you.”

Steve pulled him down for a kiss with a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you loved it, leave kudos and comments:) (they make me happy:))


End file.
